Today is our last day in Eswatini! I almost can’t believe we’re going back to the states. It’s bittersweet because I don’t want this chapter to end, I’m not ready for goodbyes. On the field my team was my ride or die so leaving them will be the hardest goodbyes of them all. Spending 2 months with these people has been such an answer of prayer. Sure I was stretched and some buttons were pushed, but the Lord put each of these people in my life for a different reason, each vital for my own self growth. I wanted so badly to feel like I could be myself, but also be accepted, two words that weren’t normally in the same sentence prior to this trip.
Coming to Africa has also brought a HUGE sense of freedom. Most of this trip I’ve been unglued from my phone and during that time I’ve realized how much social media affected my mindset. I was so engraved on having what I don’t whether that was food, clothes, a certain body image, certain personality, ect. Then coming here I realized how much self pity I had for myself… such a dangerous path! The blinders were removed and you know what I saw? I saw actual value. I thought the world revolved around me. It’s almost funny how much of the main character I thought I was, thinking I had to have this perfect image like people would notice that much about me. On Instagram I filled my time watching “What I eat in a day” videos- that set a standard, I watched “Best workout” videos- that set false perspective, I watched reels with perfect looking people- comparison. All videos looked harmless, but little did I know that they rooted unsatisfying desire. 1 Peter 1:23-25 says, “For you have been born again to a life that will quickly end. Your new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal, living word of God…People are like the grass; their beauty is like a flower in the field. The grass withers and the flower fades. But the word of the Lord remains forever and that word is the Good News that was preached to you.” Here, there isn’t the time or the money to allow self pity to settle, you just accept the way you are because most people don’t have the time to work out and the money for makeup or botox or hairstyleing. Now I truly want to value what is valuable, what is eternal.
Slowly but surely Africa chipped away at my pride and opened my eyes to sacrificing to him and how freeing that feeling is! Social media continuously fanned a flame of always wanting more, nothing became good enough. Now I’ve been reminded that the Lord called believers to be set apart and this trip just brought me one step closer and my cup is so full! I may be saying goodbye to Africa soon, but I want to take home everything it taught me, all made possible by the Lord.
